Holding My Hand In The Pale Gloom
by natdaniela
Summary: He always admires how brave she is. Even in the most reckless situations she fights back. Sometimes he wishes he was like her.  ONE-SHOT


**A/N:** This is my first time writing in English, which is why there might be some grammar mistakes. My apologies in advance.

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><p>She wakes up one day not thinking about Stefan for the first time since he left. She doesn't realize that after she finishes her breakfast. She doesn't try to find what that means, because she's tired of thinking and she's not sure she wants to know the answer either.<p>

It's later that day when she finds Damon in her front door and she's holding her breath, like it's the first time she loses herself in his bright blue eyes, like they don't repeat the same routine every damn day.

They bury their noses in newspapers, looking for possible vampire attacks. At this point they suspect of every murder they find, because they haven't found anything in weeks and they're on the brink of despair.

He hears her heartbreaking sobs every night when he's doing his part in the neighborhood watch. And he just wants to hold her and tell her that everything will be okay. But he doesn't. Instead he just walks away.

So they just try to focus on finding Stefan.

Then they let out a tired sigh.

And they try again.

Sometimes she would stop just to look at him from the corner of her eye. Every time she regrets it.

He doesn't say anything, if he does he'll start yelling at her, because he's so fucking stupid and he doesn't know what else to do. She doesn't say anything either.

It's scares her that he makes her forget why they're here. He makes her forget about Stefan and that makes her want to cry, because maybe they will never find him, and she will have to learn to live just with the memory of her first real love. She doesn't know if she can do that.

But then she looks at the man next to her again, and she realizes she's not the only one that's hurting. And for a moment she doesn't feel alone.

_I promise you, I will never leave you again._

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><p>"There's nothing in here" She says letting out a heavy sigh that makes his heart ache.<p>

She doesn't try to cover the fear in her voice. She can't pretend anymore. Not around him.

"Nothing in here either" His voice is thick. He's the one that's pretending.

When he looks at her she's all glassy-eyed and all he can do is curse himself and wonder how this eighteen-year-old human girl can have this effect on him. So he clenches his fits and promises himself he won't touch her. Not now.

"Do you think he's alive?" She whispers, he shudders. It's the first time she asks him that out loud. But he knows she was trying to ask him the same question with her eyes. He's just avoiding the answer.

"Who knows?" He says with a shrug, like he doesn't care, like he doesn't ask himself the same question every damn day since his brother decided to save his life, and destroy it at the same time.

She tries to swallow the lump in her throat, swallowing her fears with it. She let out a shaky breath and she lifts her chin.

"I know he is. He can't be dead. He just... can't"

He always admires how brave she is. Even in the most reckless situations she fights back. And sometimes he wishes he was like her. He wants to chuckle bitterly at the thought, instead he just stares at her big brown eyes and try to not hold his breath. He fails.

"We will find him" And the love and determination in her voice makes him wish she was talking about him instead. He wishes she was his, and he was hers. And he wishes he felt bad for thinking about his brother's girl like that, but he doesn't.

And she's so damn naive and stupid, because she thinks she can do anything, and he knows she will do anything. She will put suit of armor on, and she will fight dragons if she needs to. And that only makes him love her more.

But then her shoulders are down and there's nothing but fear in her eyes again. He wonders where did his warrior princess go, and he realizes Stefan took her with him. Oh Stefan.

"But do you think we'll find him?" The way her eyes flutter and the look she gives him between her long lashes makes him move instantly. He entwines his fingers with hers, taking all their fears with it. And for the first time in a long time he feels at home.

"Yes" He finds himself saying for his own surprise.

Suddenly there's a hint of a smile across her face. And he knows it:

She believes him, she always does.


End file.
